I Am Unapologetically Myself

There are people in this world who are God fearing , monotheists or polytheists; yet in a room full of atheists, they will claim there is no God. There are people in this world who absolutely hate peas, but will eat peas if they have “an interest” lingering around. There are people in this world that will stay quiet while surrounded by 10 people talking crap about their best friend. There are people in this world that will claim that everything is fine with a tear running down their cheek.

I understand why these people exist. I get why they think the way they do. I understand that some people don’t like conflict, being “impolite” or standing out from the crowd. I commend these people and respect their impeccable manners and ability to alter their views based on circumstances. They are ideological chameleons, changing their colors based on surroundings. In my opinion, these people live a much easier life than people like me. I am not one of these people. At least I try everyday not to lose the bit of myself I hold on to so tight.

Not because I want to stand out of a crowd or stage the uniqueness within me, but for the sole reason that I don’t want to apologise to anyone, not my God, not my mother, friends, family, colleagues, teachers, school friends, boyfriend, husband, in laws or anyone. Not even to me.

I am a Hindu that has never denied the existence of a higher being. I was born in South India with intense pride and I hate anyone who tags me a Marathi girl. Almost as much as I love peas, I love my best friend and no one will ever get away with talking badly about her in my presence. And I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I’m unhappy, everyone in the room can tell just by looking at me. Yet, at times, just cause I wear my heart on my sleeve, I will smile through it all. Oh but trust me, someone will know. I am not Happy.

There are people in this world like me. People who know exactly who they are, what they like, what they dislike, what they stand for, and what they will not stand for. Call it stubbornness, call it confidence, call it passion, call it self-awareness, I call it being “unapologetically ME.”

I am unapologetically myself. My very close friends are unapologetically themselves. Every guy I have ever dated or liked has been unapologetically himself. Maybe sometimes, the sole reason why we dint date. I hate them for it sometimes, but I love them for it all the time.

I am attracted to people that stand behind a belief, no matter how small. I am attracted to people who are confident in their values. I am attracted to honesty and pure emotions. I am attracted to the people who swim upstream, the trailblazers, the people whose voices shake when they go on rants, the people whose silence is chilling, the people whose emotions can be felt from 20 feet away. I am attracted to unwavering individuality and sense of self. I am attracted to people who don’t eat their peas because, damn it, they don’t want to. Even if that’s they only thing left on the plate.

I knew a boy once. He didn’t believe in wearing perfume. He only wore deodorant. Because, A) He didn’t like the smell of perfume and B) He didn’t think that people should like him because he smelled like a Calvin Klein model. At first, I rolled my eyes and called him a jackass. But now that I think about it, I get it. On some level, it was symbolic. He didn’t want to mask himself with something artificial. On another level, I respected that he stood for something so unique. He was the only guy I knew who didn’t own a single bottle of cologne and that was attractive. He was being himself. Unapologetically.

It seems to me that the chameleons very seldom understand people who are firm in their beliefs. They don’t get it. For every act of “rebellion” I did,  my mother’s wise parting words were, “Try not to get beat up.” I winked.

I have learned that you pay a price for being yourself. People can label you easier. The one time you voice an opinion has the potential to turn into your identity.

People will make assumptions about you. Even though these are the same people who will say, “Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.”

People will call you stubborn or hard headed. I am not stubborn. I am passionate. I refuse to change my beliefs on certain issues because I feel so passionately about them. However, I have a very open mind. I listen to opinions and input.

People will not like your confidence. Some people are intimidated by confidence, it’s human nature. Be confident anyway. You’ll be signing those people’s paychecks one day.

If you are a person who is unapologetically yourself, I salute you.

Now, listen up because I have good news and bad news.
The bad news: It’s not easy to be you. You will have altercations with people, face resistance, feel disillusioned, lose friends, gain enemies, and notice that people will try (and sometimes succeed at) bringing you down.
The good news: We are a minority. Most people in this world will not stand up in a room of 100 people who all believe in the same thing and dare to say, “I disagree.” And that, my friends, is a powerful thing. Do not let the world smother the fire under your passions, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem.

Being unapologetically yourself comes with a price. Always pay it.

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