The Pitfalls of Dating, HookUps, Relationships and Love

I know that it is difficult to navigate the pitfalls of hook-up culture. It feels like this exciting world of low consequence — physical relationships have it out for us. We’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.

I want to never be committed to one place, one routine. I want to wake up with different sunrises and say goodnight to different moons. I want to find the magic, the mystery, the beauty in every difference. It is our enemy and our friend. It is the thing that allows us to bring a guy home, and not talk about it the next morning. But, it’s also the thing that makes us not want to look this person in the eyes the next day when we see him. And this is not from fear of judgment from others, it is from fear of connecting.

It’s the thing that makes us terrified of the word dating, and scoff at the concept of relationships.

We overthink it all. The texts, the glances, the time we spend with someone is all carefully calculated using some algorithm that figures out just the right amount of interest to show. God forbid we show too much interest, it’s akin to a death sentence for the casual nature of “hanging out.” And it is never a “date,” but always “hanging out.”

Well girls, I too, am guilty of this. I am scared of commitment. I am scared of being let down by the realities of a relationship, and the preconceived notions I have of it all being proven untrue. I have an idyllic fantasy of dating, one that tells me I should be head over heels for a person before making any type of commitment.

But in reality, it is not as earth-shattering as it seems. I mean, yes, you are creating an attachment to this person, but it’s just a concept, a title. That is why the word boyfriend ends in “friend,” because first and foremost, he is just your friend. Many of us share these same frustrations, and most of us just accept them at face value. We think that it just has to be the way that it is. Well, maybe we should stop shying away from commitment, especially if it is something that you find yourself craving. Maybe we need to give it a shot.

Yes, I do realize that dating is not a reality for everyone, given jobs, hobbies, interests and all of the rest. But if you can, and want to, you should do it. If you meet someone that you relate to in a romantic sense, and the opportunity is there, you should take it.

Maybe all of us should dive headfirst into feeling for others, even considering the risk of being hurt that it poses to us. Because at the core of vulnerability for another human being is potential. Potential for feelings and connections that would otherwise never have been found. And that’s what our dating years are centered around: potential. You will be physically and spiritually away from me. But I will always be wishing you the best. I will always have your back no matter what, always. I will always be a listener for your rants. I will always be the shoulder for you to lean on. I will always be your punching bag.

I will always care for you. I will always be here, no doubts.

I would be lying if I say that I’m going to move on, that I will let go. Because I search for hope in every single situation I’m in. I search for the door in a pitch black room blindfolded. I search for a light in the darkest location in the darkest hours.

You made me fall heads over heels for you, when I fall for someone, I fall really hard and I don’t give up on that person, I will never give up on you. My love for you will never change, it will only grow. Hope. That’s what I have. I never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day. Fight for the people you cherish and believe in. Believe in second chances.


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