I never thought I could get myself into an ‘almost relationship’, one that starts out fast, and ends fast. And I never thought that an ‘almost relationship’ could also break my heart.
The thing about ‘almost relationships’ is that there is potential for an actual relationship. It could bloom into one, right? And that’s the exact downfall about it. You keep hoping and praying that it’s going to turn into something beautiful. You keep thinking that it will until he texts you that he has changed his mind.
You keep thinking that it’ll turn into a love story, until he really does change his mind and walks out.
I was positive it was going to work out with this guy. I got giddy when I saw him. My heart beat out of my chest when I was with him, and I felt breathless in his presence. I introduced him to my friends. I slept over at his place. I told him my deepest secrets. I kissed like I could only kiss a boyfriend. I gladly, let him walk into my life.
And I never expected him to walk out.
You never expect people to let you down when you feel strongly about them. You never expect yourself to fall for someone who has the audacity to do that to you. But sometimes, people blindside you.
People change their minds in a day. People walk out. People leave.
I thought it was my fault, truth be told. It seemed like he had done a 360 degree turn. One day he was kissing me and telling me I was beautiful, and the next he was saying goodbye with no remorse. I thought it was me that was the problem. Could I have done something to change his mind? Could I have said something wrong?
But it wasn’t my fault at all. It was his. He wasn’t ready. And he found another pretty little thing to play with soon after.
With ‘almost relationships’, there are always going to be questions. But it’s not your fault if it goes awry. If he walks out, it isn’t you. It isn’t what you said or what you did. It’s just him. It’s his issue and his loss.
‘Almost relationships’ can be incredibly heartbreaking.
Even more so than a breakup from a significant other. Why? Because it can happen suddenly, without warning. And it can end badly. Usually, more often that not, it’s going to end badly.
Don’t put yourself through it. Don’t give your heart to someone who isn’t ready. Don’t let an ‘almost relationship’ break your heart. Don’t welcome someone into your life, without even asking him what he wants or what he sees in his future. I made the mistake of not asking. I made the mistake of falling. I made the mistake of trusting someone, who I thought would never want to break me. Turns out, I guess I didn’t know him well enough.
People do shitty things. And it doesn’t mean that they are bad people. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have hearts. It just means that they sadly were on a different page.
They weren’t ready for the light you shined so brightly. They weren’t ready for your brilliance.
It will sting when they leave you. It’s going to knock the wind out of you, darling. That’s the thing about ‘almost relationships’. They always, will knock you down.