I hate how I was raised to believe that I have to be chased after and desired by men. That I have to sit pretty and wait for the man of my dreams to show up, and whisk me away to my happy ever after.
I hate how society stereotypes women as prizes to be claimed. How men have to work extra hard to fight for women. Like we’re in a competition with each other and with ourselves.
I hate how, because of this, women have this crazy idea of how their ideal man should act. They’ve raised their standards so high that no men could ever reach them.
They say things like, “If it’s God’s will, then the right man will meet my standards.” But what if God’s will was right in front of you all along, but you were too busy checking things off of your standards list that you forgot to listen to what God had to say?
I’m not saying you should lower your standards for the men of the world, but you should take a look at your standards and see if you yourself could even meet them. How could you expect a man to appear on your doorstep with all of these perfect qualities if you aren’t complete yourself? Men have their list of standards, too. Work on yourself – on becoming the woman you hope your future man would aspire to be with.
I don’t know what men want. I’m not an expert on dating – not even close. But I sure know what I want.
I want a man right next to me. I want to be able to hold him, to talk to him, to sit in silence with him, to joke around with him, to feel his breath on my skin as we hold each other close.
I miss him. And it’s probably all the emotions talking, but it’s a recurring thought I have – over and over again.
Why can’t I just go for it? Why can’t I just tell this guy how I feel? Oh, because then that would make me easy. Not worth the fight. Cheap. Maybe I’m scared of being labeled as such. Or maybe I’m scared that telling this guy how I feel will make me appear vulnerable, like I’m easy prey, quick to fall, unchallenging.
I was once told that men and women were wired differently. That women like the feeling of being pursued and men love the challenge of pursuing a woman. Yes, I want to be pursued, but sometimes no matter how obvious your hints are, men just don’t get it and making the first move is your only option.
Is it weird that I just want to say, “Hello. I want to be with you again, because I love you.” Do I need to explain that? Do I need to justify it? Can’t it be as simple as that?
But I can’t do it. Society won’t let me do it. Gender stereotypes won’t let me do it. I won’t let myself do it.
Maybe the real reason is because I’m afraid. I’m afraid, because I know what will happen next. I’m afraid that the one person I’m willing to go against the stereotype for will reject me in the end. That all my thinking and contemplating will mean nothing, because he will simply say that he doesn’t feel the same way.
Maybe that’s the truth and I’m afraid to be hit with it. Or maybe this is the start of my realization that I should make a move, anyway.
Then I ask myself, is he even worth the risk?
Without even batting an eyelash, I have my answer.