He’s someone different, like a novelty, like a breath of fresh air, someone who intrigues you. He is much younger (like that is a surprise!). The first encounter is great, your impression of him is outright positive, and you’re so stoked at the potential of having him as a potential “boyfriend material”, maybe even friend person in a foreign land where even the ones from your own country feel alien!
Right away you want to know more about him, to see how similar you both are, to see how “right” he might be. You look forward to every possible exchange you might have with him. You contemplate the amount of initiative you should take.
“Should I text him first?”
“What if he’s not interested?”
“What if he finds me annoying?”
“What if he’s already seeing someone?”
But you reach out anyway. And as you get to know more about him, you take your mental analysis to another level. He is “boyfriend” material! Yayyy… You scan his Instagram and Facebook only to find out too little. You go for a long drive and he tells you stories about him, makes you laugh and educates you about this new city you live in. You become eager to find out more about him.
And then one day, as you are talking about the numerous things in life and episodes, he mentions to you that he has commitment issues when it comes to girls and relationships. And you back off thinking this isn’t your kind of guy as he has commitment issues (which apparently is a huge problem to solve and you don’t want to get into it with him).
What is this? As much as you would like to construe what exactly these “issues” are, as much as you would like to probe further, you know for a fact that it is probably time to walk away from the topic before it may turn to a fight or argument or debate of sorts! After all this is someone who you don’t really know well.
The logical side of your brain functions well. You can comprehend that when a guy says that to you, it simply implies that you are not someone who could motivate him to commit. To give his time, to give an effort, or to try to make you his.
Also, as I ponder and dig into the cockles of my heart, what is this new thing that everyone says now? Why has this become a default in many friends I meet and speak? Broken families and divorces are no more a sign of empathy or shock but something people have become immune to its ok, shit happened! Maybe they couldn’t commit to you so move on!
Have we stopped fighting for love, for humanity, for understanding another human’s presence in your life? Just random thoughts on why someone would think it was extremely unsolvable issues where they couldn’t get themself to commit to someone!